I have been having dreams of my older brother. Not Jerome, but Andrew. I bet a lot of you did not realize I have two brothers eh? Andrew was born two years before Jerome came into this world. 

The day after I had this dream (the first dream) I asked Matthew if we could go visit Andrew and for Samuel to meet his other Uncle. It had been about six years since I been here. I am surprised that we found it without any help from anyone. Samuel was hungry so while Matthew went to find some help, Samuel and I walked the grounds while I fed him a bottle of breast milk. I found the baby part of the cemetery then Matthew helped us find Andrew's place. 

As tradition, we brought Andrew a toy. I wanted to bring plastic soldiers but we could not find any at Target so we thought that an angry birds Hot Wheels car would do. I found a really old toy we once brought last time we were here. 

After we said "hello" to Andrew, I walked about the other grave plots because I wanted Samuel to sleep before we put him back into the car seat, Samuel is not too fond of his car seat... Walking about helped rocked him to sleep plus the fresh air always did us good.
I wonder why some parents did not have headstones for their babies that died. Some places just had a piece of paper saying baby "John". I wonder if they could not afford a head stone or maybe they were so sadden by the death of their child that they could not buy a head stone...Maybe 

Some of the head stones had pictures of their precious baby. Some of them toddlers, some just tiny babies born too soon, some infants. I wonder what happened, what was their story. As I walked by them I would say a little prayer for their family. I could not imagine what they went through. 

I would have to say after visiting Andrew (and the other babies) I am going to treasure my sweet Samuel that much more and be so thankful that he is healthy and every day is truly a gift from God. I will remind myself of this when he is screaming and I am getting tired of holding a crying baby. I will be thankful that I have this precious screaming baby in my arms and I look forward to the many more times I get to hold this baby (screaming or not).

Sorry if this post creeped anyone out ;-) It took me a long time to be okay going to visit a cemetery, hope I did not offend anyone with this blog post. 

In loving memory of my brother, Andrew Anthony Lewis who would have been 25 this year.

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