Wednesday, October 9th 2013, around lunch time I started feeling a bit off. I was having small contractions but nothing painful. I had some business I needed to take care of (editing pictures, online business) so just brushed the “off” feeling aside.

      My Mom and grandparents came over and we were going over some things they wanted to order. My grandma touched my belly and asked why my belly was so hard.  I told them I was having some small contractions so after placing the order they asked if they could take Samuel out to get a haircut. I said sure. My contractions were about 10 minutes apart and still not painful.

I was meeting Matthew and Mom at Toys R Us to pick up our double stroller and to grab Samuel back from the parents. My contractions were about 8 minutes apart and now were becoming uncomfortable. I was still thinking they would fizzle out and the cramps were due to a busy day the day before. I learned that it kind of sucks to drive while have contractions.

I got to Toys R Us and retrieved Samuel and went inside to find Matthew. After playing around in the store we went and checked out. In the parking lot I told Matthew I was having small contractions but still think they would fizzle out. We planned on going to the park to give my friend her picture CD, to let Samuel run around the park and to have me walk around the track a bit.

Matthew went to go get gas for the truck so Samuel and I played for a bit. I had a couple of people stop and talk about Samuel’s age gap and how nice it was for the sibling to be so close in age. Once Matthew got to the park, he ran around with Samuel and I sat on a bench because I was feeling tired. Matthew had all of us walked around a bit then we went home.

We made some chili and corn bread for dinner. My mom called and asked how I was feeling and I told her I was still cramping but expected them to still fizzle out. I was in big denial that I was in labor. I had not bled or anything like I did with Samuel so I was waiting for some kind of bleeding to believe I was in labor.

We put Samuel to bed and I started to get cramps that actually hurt. They were about a 5 on the 1-10 pain level chart. I told Matthew it might be a good idea to pack the hospital bag “just in case”.  We went to bed super late. I never fell asleep; I played on the computer and was trying to get comfortable while having contractions. I texted Mom to tell her I was still having contractions and she might get a call to come over in a couple of hours.

Around 2 am things started to get painful. I had to walk through the contractions or rock back and forth on my knees to get through them. I was trying to let Matthew sleep because he might have to go to work in a few hours. I jumped in the shower to see If they would help things and it did for about 10 minutes but then I started to throw-up which was a sign with Samuel’s labor that I needed to start getting ready to go to the hospital.

I woke Matthew around 4 and told him I could not do this alone. He looked at me and asked if we needed to call the parents and I said yes. As Matthew ran around trying to get things in the car, I was starting to have bad contractions. I would beg Matthew to come rub my back. I kept asking him to punch my back to help with the pain. It seemed like my parents took forever to get here. I started freaking out that I might have the baby in the house. Finally they walked in the door and I ran out. Mom asked how I was feeling and I went UGH! And screamed at Matthew to GO!



Riding in a car while in labor was horrible! It was a 20 minute drive to the hospital. I was trying my best not to punch Matthew during the pain. I kept my eyes tightly closed the whole ride just praying I could get to the hospital without screaming or hurting Matthew.

When we got to the ER, the nurses asked a ton of questions. I got very annoyed with them because they wanted me to answer them. They asked if I wanted a wheel chair. I thought “If I don’t get a wheel chair then we are having this baby right here!” They finally started wheeling me down to the labor and delivery part. The nurse down there started asking the same questions! I was pissed. They needed to stop talking to me and just get me in a room. They weighed me then asked me to pee. Um, no. I am not peeing. I tried though. Then I waited a moment for them to check my blood pressure and heart rate, how baby was doing. I was trying not to kill the nurse who was taking her sweet time and kept telling me to just breathe. How about you labor and I tell you to just breathe? She checked me and said mmmmm. I panicked thinking they might send me home. I asked her when do I get my drugs? She said “Sorry hun, you are a 9, you are having this baby natural”! I turned to Matthew and lost it. I started yelling and punching him asking why did he wait so long to get me here?  I started blaming poor Matthew. He was really good though and just kept telling me that it would be all right and we get to meet our baby soon.

The nurse finally understood I was having a baby and starting moving their behinds. They got me into a room. Then they had the on call OB come in and check me. She said “waters are still in-tacked and you are almost an 8”. Then I ask “Can I get my epidural?” And she said the best words ever…. YES! We had to rush to get them though because I was moving fast. Getting the epidural was a breeze. Holding still while having a contraction was not. I was freaking out because my body was trying to push the baby out on its own. It took about 20 minutes for the epidural to kick in.

About 30 minutes after getting my happy juice, they checked me and I was complete.  I was trying my best not to nod off because I had been up since 8 am the day before. Matthew walked away and I heard this pop and saw a gush of water (like a water hose) come out of me and I was l said “my water just broke!” and the nurses said, yes, we know hun and they started laughing. We found out there was Meconium in the water.

Doctor Kwan came in and checked me over and we chatted a bit while the room was getting set up. Then we got my legs in the sturr-ups and I started pushing. The second contraction took about four minutes to come and we had an awkward moment where everyone was starring at my lady bits so we started joking around about “foot ball” and the “weather”. Finally the second contraction came. Three contractions and baby was out at 8:18 am. The Doctor almost did not catch the baby because baby flew out! The doctor put baby on my chest and I leaned forward and I said “Oh my gosh! It is a girl!!!” Everyone started laughing.

They took her away to get the meconium out of her system and to check her over.

   Then the same exact thing that happened to Samuel’s birth happened to this birth. Some of my membranes were retained so the doctor had to reach up in there and manually take them out. Thank goodness for those drugs because with Samuel’s birth, my epidural wore off and that part sucked! Then my uterus would not clamp down, again, so they gave me pitocin and a shot in the leg to help the uterus clamp down. I was glad I was still numb because the shot had a needle as big as an epi pen! Then my “favorite” part came, the rubbing of the uterus. While they tortured me with the rubbing I got to hold my little girl, who we named Meadow Feye. She was 8lbs even and 20 inches long. She latched right on and nursed for over an hour. The nursery people kept on coming in to see if she was done, we finally decided to unlatch her so they could clean her up and work some more on me.

They took Meadow away because they wanted to get the meconium out of her and she was not holding her temperature so she went to the nursery. I stayed in the labor and delivery part for an hour after she left having my tummy rubbed then for another hour because we wanted my legs to have feeling back.  We had two visitors come by; my Dad and Mrs. Diane Porter to see how we were doing. I also think they were trying to find out the gender of Meadow. We told people we were not going to tell the gender until Samuel met his sibling.

   We finally were satisfied with some feeling in my legs so we went to the post partum side. I was missing my baby and had not seen her for two hours. Once we got to the other side we texted my family to come on over with Samuel. As soon as Samuel and my family walked in the nurse wheeled Meadow in and we all got all teary eyed when they saw she was a girl.  

Meadow Feye has been nursing like a champ and like her pregnancy, she seems to be an easy baby. We are blessed. 

Now for some pictures!
 
They say time passes by quickly, but I did not believe them. My baby would be a baby forever, right? I remember on those hard days, how I wish that he was older, more self helping, less crying. Now, I miss that newborn cry. Or how he would only fall asleep on my chest and he made me stay and enjoy his baby self. How he smelt so new.... now a day he smells like the last thing he has gotten into or has eaten. 

It is amazing how he has grown 10 inches and gained 15 lbs in a matter of a year. 10 inches!!! That is half of his birth length! He has gone from a fragile newborn to a toddler who I wonder why he keeps finding my fragile things. 

His birthday is already next week. When he was first born, I wonder what he would look like as an one year old, now I look back to see what he use to look like as a toddler. I know I will cry on his birthday, both for joy that we survived this year and that it went by so fast.

Until next time.
 
It has been since January since I have written in this blog posting. We have so much to update you all.

In February, we found out that Samuel is going to be a big brother! Wow! How blessed are we? The baby is due October 16. I joked to Matthew that I am going to hold out for his birthday (the 18th) so he can share his birthday with his new kido. 
First picture was when bub was 11 weeks and second picture is when bub was 19 weeks. We decided to not find out the gender this time! I had Miss Cherilyn and Miss Gabby come with me to make sure I kept my word. We just want a healthy baby, boy or girl, does not matter to us. I have to admit though, I am slightly more excited at the thought of two boys. 

So, now I am going into my 22 week of pregnancy and so far things have been super easy. Besides being dead tired, I am so grateful that I have not been sick. This baby also moves so much more than Samuel, he or she is always dancing in my belly. I love it. 

Samuel is almost 11 months! *insert sad mommy face* I still see him as my newborn baby boy! We have taken his birthday photos and his invitations are made. Just waiting for the pictures to come in then we shall send them off! So be on the look out for them. 

Samuel is crawling everywhere, yay! I was worried he would just skip crawling and go to walking. He is loving being able to follow me all over the house. He is about 23 lbs and 31 inches tall. He is growing up so much. It amazing me that he has grown over 10 inches in his first year of life. 

He is clapping when we sing "If you are happy and you know it....", he makes the most funniest faces that make you laugh you head off. He favorite animals are cat, he can say kitty and giggles when he sees our cats. 

I am looking forward to no longer breast feeding him. He loves to kick my belly as he nurses, then his sibling starts kicking, by the time he is done I feel like I have been beaten up. We are almost to a year mark! That is my goal to make it to. I hope he self weans before then.... does not look like it. 

Matthew is working his way up in his job. He is done with school for the summer! He mad an A on his last test! So proud of him! He is also in the top group in his class. I knew he would do just fine in school, he is one smart man. 


Matthew, along with our awesome friends, built a chicken coop for our chickens that we got back in March. I could tell he was having a blast building it. He built the hutch part, now we are working on making them a run. Matthew has been calling the chicken his chickens. Ha! I am glad he is enjoying them. 

Matthew has also been busy working on our house. I know the inner builder in him is super happy to have a house of his own to fix and work on.


Oh, we bought a house! In March! We are home owners!! We love being home owners, our house have a HUGE back yard that our dog runs around in. I am looking forward to the days that our kids will be playing back there. 

What is up with me?

Samuel has been keeping me busy. Also planning his birthday party has been taking time as well. We also bought me new show rabbit and one of my rabbit's had a baby so I am enjoying playing and caring for them. I am determined to stay fit during this pregnancy so been walking about 2 miles a day. I am already getting excited at working out and getting back in shape after the baby is born.

I am in full nesting mode already and been cleaning like a mad women. For some reason, my floors need to be spotless, which is hard when you have a 11 month old throwing food on the floor all.the.time.

So, that is a small update from us. I hope to keep up with this blog better since Samuel is more self-entertaining. For now, it is time to go to bed!
 
My point actually.

There we were sitting in bed. Baby is asleep. You think we would be sleeping. But we like to talk sometimes. Just sometimes. 

We talk about the normal marriage stuff... day, sickness, dog, blah blah blah.

Then I express how I never had a new pillow before and I want one.

Matthew: "Why do you want a pillow? They are expensive."

Me: "I never had a NEW pillow before, I want to try it out."

Matthew: "You had a new pillow before! Remember... I bought a pillow and I did not like it so I gave it to you."

Me: "Which means it was not NEW."

So, I won. Yay!

This is why I love my husband. 


 
It has been a while since we (me) did an update on us. 6 months ago I would not think it was this hard to update a blog but when you have a baby, time is very precious.



Samuel has been doing much better with his reflex. We have been working on his weight gain. I notice he was wanting about 5 more ounces a day than what I was giving him. So for a week I would pump for 30 mins after he would nurse. By doing this I was able to give him 5 more ounces a day. He seemed more happier. 

We had a weigh check up and he gained almost 2 lbs! In one month! Our hard work has been paying off. He was in the 15 percentile and now he is back to 25 percentile. 

We saw a new doctor because I had to reschedule and our doctor was busy. 

I loved this new doctor oh so very much. So did Samuel. When she walked in she introduced herself, asked about Samuel. Why he was here, if he had any problems. Our doctor would walk in and look at the computer. 

We told her about his issues with acid reflex and him throwing up all the time. She was so nice. She made sure to keep him up-right (reflex babies hate being flat on their back). Our other doctor would put him on his back right away after I said we were here for reflex. UGH.

Samuel seemed to like her as much as I did. 

She praised us on the weight gain, encouraged me to keep nursing. The other doctor pushed formula on us each visit. 

The only down side to this doctor? She is pregnant and due soon so we would have to wait a couple months for her to come back... meaning go back to the other doctor. Boo!

So new goals:

Get Samuel to his birth percentile (50%) 
Get him to throw-up less (Don't know how)
Keep breast feeding. (always going to happen).

Currently I am pumping not a lot! I hate pumping with a passion. Would rather not do it. It seems like Samuel is very satisfied with nursing. We shall see what his weight says at his next doctors appointment. 


So enough medical update, here are some fun updates!

Samuel is now trying very hard to sit up on his own. He can sit up for about 2 minuets before falling over (I try and catch him).  


He is getting really good at transferring an object from one hand to another. Which I am learning that babies tend to not learn how to do this until 8-10 months. Go Samuel! 

He is talking....A LOT. Baby talk of course. Which is good and bad. Now when he wants my attention he tends to scream at me until I come to him. This happens usually when I am cooking dinner. 

Samuel is very expressive, has been since he was born. He has started this "squished up" face recently which always makes me giggle. 

And he is starting to recognize people. Mainly people he does not know. He tends to give them his fake smile then he gets all shy and tries to hid in my clothing. Sweet boy. 


Oh and we started solids! We are doing Baby Led Weaning with some purees. So far his favorite thing to eat is bananas! He is still trying to figure out the hand to mouth thing. But he tries!


How is Matthew and I doing?

Matthew is doing well. He shaved his beard off for me for Christmas. I can finally see his face!
People have been oh so annoying with it being shaved off. (I'll stop before I start ranting at said people(s) ) 

Matthew is doing amazing in school. Samuel and I are very proud of him. He likes work, it just has long hours away from Samuel and I. 

He makes my heart melt when he interacts with his son. You can tell those two adore each other. Samuel has this excited dance he does when Matthew comes home from work. Matthew has said "things are easier now that we understand him". Which I totally agree with!

For Christmas he is getting his hand-gun license! Which he is excited about. We are going to save up to get him a new gun because his current ones are not ones you can easily carry around. He also got things for his feet! On Christmas day, while Samuel took a nap, I gave his feet a pedicure and they look so much better! 


My update.

Still losing the pregnancy weight. I am losing it too fast so trying to maintain it. I currently weigh 132 lbs! 3 lbs lighter than pre-pregnancy. 

Have not had time to go running. Any free time I am usually cleaning or taking a nap. Boo!!!

Still working on a way to get me back to school. After this degree I am thinking of doing a photography degree. Problem is, there is not a lot of photography schools near us.

I get frustrated sometimes because I feel like I am doing the same dance every day. But then I see Samuel and how much he enjoys me being with him so it helps with me not going crazy being home all the time. 

Being a mom is becoming so much easier. It is still hard but now I understand Samuel a lot better and not at a lost. Still working on sleeping. 

That is our update for now! Food is done so better eat before the boys get up!
 
Christmas seems to have just flown by without so much as a hello. Now we are waiting for New years to come. 

Our first Christmas as a family of three was amazing even though it was our test run Christmas. By test run, I mean we figuring out what is best for Samuel. 

We found out that Samuel cannot stay out very late. He was a sweet boy the whole time but coming home from my parents Christmas party, lets just say Samuel thought the world was ending. Poor guy. He ended up sleeping in our bed the whole night to keep him calm and let him sleep. This way we all got a good amount of sleep.

Trying to figure out what to do next year with the parent's party. Yes, Samuel will be older but he will also fall harder when he needs to go to sleep. 

I really enjoyed our Christmas day much more than Christmas Eve. 

Matthew, Samuel and I opened the presents we got each other.

Matthew's feet have been hurting so I bought him some foam soled house shoes so he does not have to wear flip-flops all the time. Matthew tends to hate to be bear-footed. 


Squirrel, our fur-baby got a huge raw-hid bone cane. The bone was larger than she was long... you would think it would have lasted longer than the 26th of December.
Our sweet baby boy got PAPER!!!
Okay, if you asked Samuel (if he could talk) he would tell you that he received paper for his presents. 

What he really got from us is;



2 teething toys, 
Four wooden puzzles
One green Elephant 
One GIANT Zany Zoo activity center
He also got this flower steering wheel toy from us as well. 


From family and friends he got a ton of clothes, cloth diapers, fire truck, sock monkey, teethers, quilted blankets, a teddy bear, soft blocks, lantern, soaps (these are too cute! They are shaped like cows and horses) and books!

Needless to say, our baby boy is very loved.

I was panicking about him have no clothes. Seriously, I thought he was going to stay in the 3-6 month clothes forever.... but thanks to family and friends we don't have to buy any clothes until he hits 9-ish months. I say ish because he is comfortably wearing 9 month clothes with room to spare. 

After we had a nice morning with just US, then we went to our second family.... the Porter family! Our sister and Brother Jerome and Gabriel joined us as well. 

We played Matthew's Christmas present Quelf.... if you have not played this game then you should! Best game ever! 

The Porters made us a lovely turkey dinner. It was so tasty. 

Samuel got to try some cranberry sauce but he was not a fan. 

After the siblings left, Cherilyn, Matthew and I played a couple rounds of Catan, our favorite game. I won both times! 

Mwhahahahahahahahahaha!! 

Then we went home.

Over all, Samuel's first Christmas was simply great and he was such a good boy even though for three days straight his schedule was horrible. 

We are blessed.
 
Just to warn you, you may cry!!!   


 


    What would you do if you knew you were pregnant but could never have a life with your child? Because he/she would not live for more than a day? Maybe not even survive birth? Would you abort? Would you carry the baby until they died? Until full-term?

   I was reading a story about this family. The mother already had a hard life living with Lyme, then being told she would not be able to get pregnant. Well, she got pregnant! You think from here on out it would be a happy ever after? Well, they find out that their sweet baby has Anencephaly. 

Anencephaly is a fatal birth defect that no baby has ever survived. The longest living baby was about 33 hours after birth. Some babies do not even make it past the second trimester. I became friends with this person and watch their journey with their baby. The parents decided to let the baby live and grow in the mommy's tummy. As long as the baby was in her womb, he was safe. His name is London. 

I was/am amazed by these two young people. They did so much to celebrate their baby's life, even if London was inside his mommy's tummy. They took him to baseball games, concerts, he got to meet Santa Claus who prayed with them after he took a picture with them. 

This family just amazed me.

Then, this Friday he had to come out. 

All they wanted was him to be born a live, just for a few minuets, so they could all meet this wonderful little boy they grew to love. 

Since London's mom, Alisa, has Lyme, she needed to be put under when they preformed a c-section. 

Alisa prayed and prayed that she would get to meet him after she woke up. She had them record a greeting from her just in case he passed before she woke back up. Some Anencephalyhaly babies do not survive the birth. 

London came out alive. 

He was handed to his Dad -Jamie- who then took him to a room full of love ones. Then they waited for Alisa to hurry back so she could meet their miracle. 

She did get to meet London. They shared 61 wonder minuets together. 

What a journey. These people are so strong. I don't know how I would handle that. 

That night, the night London came into this world, I spent some time hold my sleeping baby and thanking God for giving him to me healthy and alive. 

I had to share this story. Even though it is sad, it if full of life and love. 

If Samuel only lived for 61 minuets, all the crying and sorrow would be worth meeting him, even for just a little while. 

Some days I just want my son to sleep so I can have a break. These people just wanted their son alive so they could say hello and good-bye. 

Those days when Samuel is fussy does not seem so bad, if bad at all.


If you have time, please say a little prayer for this family.
 
Last Thursday we celebrated Matthews 25th birthday! His first birthday as a father so of course Samuel had to be in the shot with him ;-) 

Matthew kept on telling me he was bummed about not getting a party, that he felt he did not have any friends around to hang out with, that his 25th birthday would just come and go. Challenge accepted! 
    I went and invited some dear friends of ours to a restaurant to celebrate Matthew's birthday. I told Matthew that my family wanted to treat him to a birthday dinner. Matthew kept on asking if we can invite people to the dinner, I finally told him I got the dinner thing covered and you are not allowed to ask again. Matthew never lets me surprise him, ha ha ha! So he was pleasantly "surprised" when 16 people (including us) joined us for dinner. It was wonderful! We all had a good time despite our waiter not being all there and some food went missing. I was running around taking care of Samuel that I forgot to take a picture of everyone. Dang! But I got one of Samuel all dressed up for the party! He he he. 

Matthew told me he had a GREAT birthday and that he won't forget this one too soon. Challenge complete! I should get wife points or something! But I gladly accepted a kiss and a hug from the birthday boy. 

It was really nice seeing all of our friends. We had not seen them since Samuel was about a month old! Hopefully we will get together more often.

Matthew's cake I gave to him on his birthday and his uncooked birthday dinner with just us three. I was sad that I forgot to take a picture of the chuck roast dinner actually done/cooked but it was super tasty! I was very impressed that I could get it done with Samuel wanting to be held all day.


Our little Samuel is growing up too fast! He now has amazing head control, he is always lifting it up with no problem. He has even been trying to sit up on his own!

He finally decided that nursing is his thing and so far (knock on wood) he is a nursing champ! He has been doing wonders to my milk supply! I use to only get maybe an ounce after he ate (pumping for 40 mins), now when I pump I can get anywhere from 2- 4 ounces in 20 mins! Sweet! Go Samuel! I am excited to see how much he weighs at his weight check up on the first of Nov. 


I am doing fine as well, super happy that my baby fat is finally falling off. I am hoping to get that fat off before the wedding in December! I would like to loose another 8 lbs, 12 lbs would be fantastic! I have been watching my diet and trying to get some exercise in, I am sure bouncing and rocking our little boy all day is a good workout! It is not easy carrying around a 13 pound-er! 

I had a talk with Matthew and he is going to start taking care of Samuel in the evening so I can go running again. I have not ran since Samuel was 2 months old... he is now 3 1/2 months. Running is such a stress relief and I need it on some days :) 

I cannot believe Halloween is next week already! And we still have yet to buy Samuel his costume. Uh-oh! Hopefully we find one that we all like. I did not think choosing one would be this hard!

Well, I better get back to cleaning the house while Samuel is still sleeping!
 
You know you want to finish the song!

Can you believe that the holidays are upon us? That 2012 is almost over? That soon we shall be celebrating the 25 days of Christmas? Am I getting ahead of myself? 

Since our little guy turn one month old, time seems to be speeding up! Last week I was like.... oh my goodness! Matthew's birthday is next week! And here it is, today is my dear husband's 25th birthday! 

I have seen Matthew's 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th and now his 25th birthday! It is crazy to think I have been to five birthday parties for Matthew. Of course we were not dating until his 22nd Birthday :) (yes I was a stalker of his for a year! ha ha ha.) We have a weird tradition where we go and eat at Red Robin for his birthday. The only birthday that we missed was his 23rd because he was deployed. 

We plan on celebrating his birthday this weekend because my hard working man does not come home till after 10 today. 

Matthew, you are an amazing father and husband, you are always looking out for your family and friends. I could not ask for a better best friend. Samuel and I love you so very much and we are so  happy to celebrate another year (first for Samuel of course) of life with you!

Happy Birthday my love! I hope it is a good one!   
 
I have been having dreams of my older brother. Not Jerome, but Andrew. I bet a lot of you did not realize I have two brothers eh? Andrew was born two years before Jerome came into this world. 

The day after I had this dream (the first dream) I asked Matthew if we could go visit Andrew and for Samuel to meet his other Uncle. It had been about six years since I been here. I am surprised that we found it without any help from anyone. Samuel was hungry so while Matthew went to find some help, Samuel and I walked the grounds while I fed him a bottle of breast milk. I found the baby part of the cemetery then Matthew helped us find Andrew's place. 


As tradition, we brought Andrew a toy. I wanted to bring plastic soldiers but we could not find any at Target so we thought that an angry birds Hot Wheels car would do. I found a really old toy we once brought last time we were here. 

After we said "hello" to Andrew, I walked about the other grave plots because I wanted Samuel to sleep before we put him back into the car seat, Samuel is not too fond of his car seat... Walking about helped rocked him to sleep plus the fresh air always did us good.
I wonder why some parents did not have headstones for their babies that died. Some places just had a piece of paper saying baby "John". I wonder if they could not afford a head stone or maybe they were so sadden by the death of their child that they could not buy a head stone...Maybe 

Some of the head stones had pictures of their precious baby. Some of them toddlers, some just tiny babies born too soon, some infants. I wonder what happened, what was their story. As I walked by them I would say a little prayer for their family. I could not imagine what they went through. 

I would have to say after visiting Andrew (and the other babies) I am going to treasure my sweet Samuel that much more and be so thankful that he is healthy and every day is truly a gift from God. I will remind myself of this when he is screaming and I am getting tired of holding a crying baby. I will be thankful that I have this precious screaming baby in my arms and I look forward to the many more times I get to hold this baby (screaming or not).

Sorry if this post creeped anyone out ;-) It took me a long time to be okay going to visit a cemetery, hope I did not offend anyone with this blog post. 

In loving memory of my brother, Andrew Anthony Lewis who would have been 25 this year.